5 Signs You Lack Healthy Boundaries
1. You say Yes without thinking, then you regret it.
2. You do not filter any information you give to others.
3. You allow others to dictate what you are doing and when.
4. You feel controlled by those who are supposed to love you.
5. You are easily swayed by someone else’s opinion.
Do you find that you are not sure what opinion you hold?
If someone were to ask you “what do you think?” you may struggle to answer them because you are used to someone else telling you what to think.
Perhaps you are completely the opposite and will only think in the way you want, without taking anyone else into consideration.
Both of these are boundaries issues.
One is where your boundaries are too weak and the other, your boundaries are too rigid.
Why does this matter?
When you have weak boundaries, it can be difficult to work out who the real you is.
People take advantage easily and you end up doing and thinking a lot of things you don’t really agree with.
When your boundaries are too rigid, it can be difficult to let others into your world.
We build brick walls to keep people out, ultimately, this may protect us for a while, but it doesn’t make us happy in the long term.
And what about the Yes?
Do you say yes to everything?
This is such a common (and overused) word among us people pleasers.
Who can….? me, me, me!
Who will….? I don’t mind.
Who is available….? I suppose I could be.
Can you...? Oh yes, of course I can.
And then you are totally burnt out, feeling frustrated, running around like a crazy person wondering why no one is helping you.
Again, it’s boundaries.
In my program BigLife, we look closely at our boundaries and where we may need to shift them a bit to suit us better.
We also look at how to communicate them well.
When we start creating boundaries, we are bound to piss some people off.
When they are used to you doing exactly what they want, it will be hard for them to hear "no" from you.
Once you know what your boundaries are, it is much easier to catch yourself when they have been swept away.
If you think you may need support with your boundaries, let’s chat.
I work with people who want to change The World, and Their World.
Do you want to Thrive, not just Survive through change?
Then take action!
Have a Powerful Day!
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Jenny Jarvis is a practicing, certified, UK Holistic Life Change Coach and NLP Specialist who has empowered numerous people to live a life of their dreams, unleash their relationship with money and start and grow brands and businesses to great success. A truly inspirational individual, Jenny is also the mum to two amazing teens, a Reiki Master and motivational speaker. She inspires all to harness their greatness through energised coaching sessions, workshops and her membership club. Book a free introductory session with Jenny HERE and discovery how you might work together. Or why not get started with her FREE 'Life Change Kickstart' Mini course HERE
I think this is very interesting, as I relate to a lot of these things. I allowed other people with more assertiveness to dictate to me what should be important.
The truth was that it was important to them, but not necessarily to me.
I've learned to stop and question what my priorities should be much more now, and this doesn't happen any more.
I remember it feeling scary the first few times to sat "no" to things, but the freedom that came from that was just amazing. I slightly regret not realising this earlier!