I wasted 4 years of my life...
I did a degree I hated.
4 years of art college.
Have you done the same thing?
Stuck at something you really did not enjoy.
I didn’t know what I wanted to do at school.
I enjoyed art and was reasonably good at it, so, at 18, off to art school I went.
Even though I gained my place there in the same way as everyone else, I felt like an absolute imposter.
I simply did not fit in at all.
Initially I had wanted to do fine art (painting) then, after the first year, I decided to specialise in fashion.
I didn’t particularly like fashion, I wasn’t passionate about it.
I just wanted to make clothes that were “too wearable” (according to my tutor).
Going with my logical brain, I felt that fashion was a skill I could learn.
So, I stuck at it.
I got through the years.
I have no idea how really. It was one of the the most miserable times of my life.
Looking back with a new perspective, was it really a waste? What did I learn from that experience?
I learned that the story I tell myself that "I don’t like to finish things" is incorrect. I finished 4 years of a degree I did not like, so it can’t be true.
I learned (and believe me, it took years to work this out) that being unhappy makes me physically ill. Breathing difficulties, constant colds, upset tummy. My immune system was being beaten by unhappiness.
Most importantly, I learned that even though I made a mistake, the world did not end. I got my degree, which I never used (apart from to make the odd wedding and bridesmaids dress). I could have done things differently, but I didn’t. And that is OK.
How much pressure do you put on yourself, or indeed your kids, to get it right the first time? I know that kids are under massive pressure to choose options at the age of 13/14 that could affect their whole life.
But does it really?
Admitting you are not enjoying something you have invested so much time, money and emotional energy in is scary, it’s like admitting defeat.
To being a failure.
But if we don’t take a step back and stop what we are doing, what then?
A whole lifetime of regret and misery.
If we never change what we are doing, when we are so unhappy, we spend our lives searching for the elusive notion of happiness.
Einstein said the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
Yet how many times do we do this?
We choose not to change because we are more comfortable (familiar) with being miserable.
How crazy is that?!
- Where in your life do you need to step back?
- What do you need to admit to yourself and others that you are not enjoying?
- What changes can you make now?
- Imagine your future if you stay exactly as you are.
- Then imagine a future where you are doing something completely different.
- Which one feels better?
If you don’t know how to make the changes, it’s my speciality.
I embrace change all of the time.
Sometimes I slip up and go back into survival mode.
It’s then that I realise how awful that really feels.
The comfort of familiarity (when it’s a “should” not a "want”) is not a good place to be.
It makes me miserable.
It took a long time for me to learn this, I am giving you the heads up now, so you don’t have to waste another minute of your life.
If you want to make changes, but don’t know where to start, start with a FREE introductory zoom session with me HERE.
How can you make sure you have a Powerful Day?
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Jenny Jarvis is a practicing, certified, UK Holistic Life Change Coach and NLP Specialist who has empowered numerous people to live a life of their dreams, unleash their relationship with money and start and grow brands and businesses to great success. A truly inspirational individual, Jenny is also the mum to two amazing teens, a Reiki Master and motivational speaker. She inspires all to harness their greatness through energised coaching sessions, workshops and her membership club. Book a free introductory session with Jenny HERE and discovery how you might work together. Or why not get started with her FREE 'Life Change Kickstart' Mini course HERE
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