If you stop sucking your thumb, I will buy you a Care Bear.
That’s how Funshine bear made it into my life.
But I didn’t stop sucking my thumb.
I just hid it better.
Have you ever been offered something as an incentive to stop a habit?
Did it actually work?
The problem with habits are, they take time to form and they become so easy. Our brain doesn’t even need to think about it. All of a sudden, your thumb is in your mouth, and you don’t even realise it.
Next on the list was nail varnish.
If you stop sucking your thumb you can have nail varnish.
Again, I had a lovely array of nail varnish but the second I was switched off, in my thumb would go.
So, what is it that made the difference?
Eventually, at the age of 14, I was going on a school trip. I don’t particularly remember thinking “I must stop sucking my thumb”, it just happened, I was ready to take charge.
Sometimes the carrot does work. The thought of what you might get as a prize at the end.
But often it doesn’t.
How many times have you thought, if I lose a few lbs I will buy a nice bikini/dress/top?
How many times have you thought, if I stop smoking, I will use the money to buy a car/holiday?
How many times have you thought, when I get out of this relationship, I will find out who I really am?
How many times have you thought, I hate my job, when I leave it, I am going to take up a new hobby or start my own business working from a lounger on the beach?
But years later you are still a lot heavier than you want to be, smoking, in the same job or in the relationship that isn’t fulfilling you.
When we have habits, whether that is personal or lifestyle (yes, being busy and staying in jobs are habits), it’s just too easy to keep doing them.
The thing that creates the shift are:
Why do you want to make the change?
What is in it for you?
How is staying as you are benefitting you (believe me, there will be loads of reasons why we benefit from bad habits)?
Acknowledge who wants you to change, you or someone else? If it’s someone else, stop right there, you’re all good.
I have never offered my thumb-sucking daughter care bears (not sure she would be impressed by that now anyway) or nail varnish. I have not brushed on “Stop and Grow” to make her thumb taste disgusting, I have not even mentioned that she should stop sucking her thumb.
Because I know, it doesn’t matter what I offer or cajole or threaten, if she doesn’t want it for herself, all the bribery in the world doesn’t work.
What does work?
Support.
Without support, change is more difficult than it needs to be.
Ask yourself:
What support do I need to make my own changes?
Who in my network can help me?
What resources do I need (confidence, determination, delegation skills, communication skills etc)?
If you don’t have any avenues for support in your current circle, how can you widen that?
So, the question is, do you want the promise of a Care Bear, or do you want to make changes that will last?
If it’s the first, you can do that without stopping the habit.
If it’s the second, what is your first step?
If you are not sure what your steps might be, but you know you want change, book a 1-hour FREE introductory zoom session with me HERE to see how real support feels.
Have a Powerful Day!
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Jenny Jarvis is a practicing, certified, UK Holistic Life Change Coach and NLP Specialist who has empowered numerous people to live a life of their dreams, unleash their relationship with money and start and grow brands and businesses to great success. A truly inspirational individual, Jenny is also the mum to two amazing teens, a Reiki Master and motivational speaker. She inspires all to harness their greatness through energised coaching sessions, workshops and her membership club. Book a free introductory session with Jenny HERE and discovery how you might work together. Or why not get started with her FREE 'Life Change Kickstart' Mini course HERE
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