It was my wedding day and I was Upset!
She is my daughter, and I am telling you She. Is. Upset.
This was the voice of my mum from behind a pillar on my wedding day.
And she was right, I was very upset.
So far, the photos had taken several hours, and we were running way behind schedule.
I absolutely hate being late.
I was bang on time for the ceremony and now it felt totally out of control.
The guests were hungry (as was I) and they were getting more tipsy by the minute (I was not).
This day had taken 18 months to plan and here it was. The most important day of my life so far. All I really felt was anxiety.
I worried about everyone else except myself that day. I made sure my bridesmaids were dressed and made-up before I even started, leaving myself no time at all. I tried to organise the flowers which arrived far too late at the house, leaving everyone in a panic.
I had spent weeks running around after everyone.
I was exhausted.
I don’t look on my wedding day with very much fondness. That makes me so sad. It was the full white wedding. Everything looked perfect to everyone attending. But I had spent so much time people pleasing, I simply couldn’t relax. I spent no time with my new husband, he was also off pleasing others (or maybe himself). I didn’t feel at all special that day.
What could I have done differently?
I could have delegated more.
I could have just gone with the flow.
I could have just done exactly what I wanted without worrying about everyone else.
I could have stopped thinking about the money every second of the day.
I could have not had expectations of others (again, having expectations caused me so much grief). The thing was, they just didn’t have the resources, I know many of them tried their hardest. I was not expressing myself well at all and I took it all on my own shoulders.
I’m a big communicator. It’s one of my biggest values. But I realise now that I didn’t always communicate in a way that was helpful for me or those around me.
*I used to fight my causes. But not in a way that felt good or productive.
*I used to stress my opinion, loudly, but not in a way that was helpful.
*I used to wonder why no one was listening.
I don’t do that anymore.
I know how I could have made a difference to that day, and many others. It took a long time to get there.
Do you struggle to feel heard?
Do you feel undervalued?
Do you feel you are shouting to be heard but no one is listening?
I did too.
Whether it is your partner, children, parents or co-workers. If you feel you are not being heard, I hear you.
I will always hear you.
And I can help others hear you too.
Have a Powerful Day!
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Jenny Jarvis is a practicing, certified, UK Holistic Life Change Coach and NLP Specialist who has empowered numerous people to live a life of their dreams, unleash their relationship with money and start and grow brands and businesses to great success. A truly inspirational individual, Jenny is also the mum to two amazing teens, a Reiki Master and motivational speaker. She inspires all to harness their greatness through energised coaching sessions, workshops and her membership club. Book a free introductory session with Jenny HERE and discovery how you might work together. Or why not get started with her FREE 'Life Change Kickstart' Mini course HERE
This was me also Jenny on my wedding day, I didn’t see it at the time but I couldn’t relax at all Now I look back at it.
its a shame don’t you think, wonder how many other brides think the same, it’s take months and months to plan and not mentioning the cost. if I did it again I would definitely do things differently.
great article though Jenny